There’s a great piece in the AJC today that could almost pass for an Onion article. I credit a UGA journalism grad for coming up with such a clever backhanded compliment of the football experience on North Avenue.

I must concede her point. If you care nothing about the quality of competition and the world revolves around keeping your five-year-old entertained, taking in a major college football game probably isn’t for you. McDonald’s will be a better dining choice than Five and Ten. A Thomas and Friends DVD would be a better family entertainment option than the Atlanta Symphony. It’s tough for wiggly kids to sit through Rachmaninov.

Offered as points in Tech’s favor:

• "Tech routinely has family deals and free ticket promotions. Last year for the Tech-Duke game we bought tickets that included a hotdog and Coke for each person."
• "This year we actually got FREE tickets for me and the kids…You will get free ticket offers every Tuesday."
• "Because Tech’s stadium isn’t usually filled to capacity, it is very easy for families to spread out. We sat in the top deck and had plenty of room."
• Plenty of family-friendly events…just avoid those soul-sucking video games.
• Parking is tight in Athens, and a walk back to the car can be of some distance. "I am certain the sight of me struggling up that hill with three children prevented some co-eds from having sex that night." Notice she said "some" and not "all" …that’s how you can tell she was describing the Georgia campus.

It’s all true, I’m afraid. If you can round up enough neighborhood kids, you might even be able to set the starting time to suit your busy schedule. And if the scene at Tech still proves too rowdy for you, try your local 8-year-old rec league.

I see this sentiment as nothing but win-win. Georgia tickets are in high demand, and the fewer that get used by uninterested kids and dispassionate parents who’d consider a Tech game a viable substitute, all the better. Anything to protect the kids from this:

"Two years ago when Michael took our then 3-year-old son to the Georgia game, there was a bunch of apparently drunk college girls trying to cuddle him." First, we have to clarify whether the girls were trying to cuddle the 3-year-old or Michael the husband. Cute kids are second-only to bulldogs as chick magnets. Either way, she writes as if this is a bad thing. The kid has learned a valuable lesson: at age 3, he’s already getting more female attention at a Georgia game than any guy who chose the alternative.