If you’re a minor league hockey team in Wheeling, WVa., you probably need all the attention you can get. So the Wheeling Nailers are reaching out to the disillusioned people of West Virginia and will host "Shred Rich Rodriguez" night this Saturday. Bring a picture of Rodriguez to feed into a huge shredder and get a discounted ticket. (A shredder! Get it?)

The promotion doesn’t stop there:

Additionally any fan who wears WVU apparel to the game will receive $2 off their ticket price. Ohio State fans will also receive the discount by wearing their gear to the game to demonstrate their mutual distaste for Michigan.

Any fan caught wearing University of Michigan apparel will be charged double in order to help Rodriguez pay his $4 million buyout to WVU.

If your first name is Rich or your last name is Rodriguez your ticket will be $8.25. If your name happens to be Rich Rodriguez you will get in free. Except, of course, if you actually are Coach Rich Rodriguez then you will be barred from the building and escorted outside state lines.

In the land of the burning couch, I’m sure a few people will show up and be disappointed to find that Rich Rodriguez will not actually be fed through a wood chipper.